Othersideblue

solitude

2011-11-02T01:24:00.000+03:30

I don't know if you know

how my days where blended in sorrow

I don't know if you know

how hard it's been for me to swim with the flow.

Seeking the blue bird of happiness ?

2010-11-17T19:21:00.001+03:30

The art of being happy

lies in the power

of extracting happiness

from common things.

___Henry Ward Beecher

2010-11-15T21:04:00.001+03:30

there remains no word to bespoken

there's no use to try to cry out or unburden

trapped inside like a captive like a slave

the body and soul gradually turning into a grave

sometimes voices better go dead

sometimes things are better be left unsaid.

2010-11-13T09:04:00.001+03:30

Voices inside have started telling me you can't you can't you can't....

Fear, doubts and anxiety are whispering in my ears,

need to be strong to ignore and shake them off !

Oh... i need a mighty power !

2010-11-09T15:38:00.000+03:30

Where else can I find peace and happiness if I can't find it within ?

How can I expect others to love me if am not able to love myself ?

2010-10-28T23:26:00.000+03:30

Sometimes mood swing is a total eclipse of the heart

Sometimes Life becomes a never ending challenge.

I don't believe in chasing crazy dreams.

'tongue'

2010-10-15T06:47:00.001+03:30

"The 'tongue' is the most unruly member of the body. You can either 'make' or 'break' someone with your tongue. I know that may sound humorous, but it is so true. We may be able to take back a lot of things, but we can never take back words spoken. That is why we must always watch what we say, and only speak the truth."

my dear newly discovered American friend Linda wrote me this precious advice the other day which I need to read and reread, keep in mind and never forget

patience pays

2010-10-13T18:47:00.000+03:30

Early morning was spent sometime on TV; I was witnessing Chili miners being rescued. The overjoyed faces when they met the family member after they reached the surface stepping on the ground was really worth watching to share the true joy and delight. I could feel a lump in my throat when each waiting family member wiped off their wet eyes every now and then.

Fortunately they got their reward; the family reunion and joyful smiles was not the work of any TV company , it was just real.

it's more than a new lesson . it's life and all about it. Patience pays

Each day is a new lesson

2010-10-11T23:17:00.001+03:30

Could be worse

This too will pass

I learned these two phrases today which I can deeply feel and realize the true meaning

Self confidence is a necessity or else I will turn into a donkey

2010-09-27T08:22:00.002+03:30

The thought of past, people and all that has happened to me through the 45 years is haunting me like never before .. I don't like to share them with you or anybody else I don wanna share it with me either since its no use to go over the past salting the wounds.
I'd rather close the lid and throw the whole bottle out to the sea and whoever gets it shall do the same letting it immerse and absorb enough water maybe the dried up tears would flow pour out to the sea .. so the bottle feels released sailing back to me again .. maybe.

To be a wolf or a tigress is so easy and to be donkey is not as easy as u imagine .. I would have to carry so much burden though nobody was ever pleased with me but wait what about being a real lady ? I have tried them all with the unique hidden potentials that I've already got from Dunno Where Land. A dear friend suggested be a lady and i replied thats easy too .. I've got that hidden potential also I only have to drag it out, a little bit dusting and cleaning and then watch it shine.

I'm learning to say no to people fighting against my own shyness or any lack of self confidence. This is another new lesson to me a new challenge, another battleship that needs lots of self confidence, energy, iron,Vitamin B and a very calm and polite attitude to face people so ladies stand up follow me; don't let be used like a tool show them all you are a lady not a donkey anymore. It works out they will even respect us, yes it works i tried.

2010-09-08T08:31:00.001+04:30

my mind has been crazy inside these past few days.. sleeplessness sneering and mocking.

Again he begs and ask me to take a rest and a cease fire and keep quite so he can dozzzze offff.. the white flags are up; lucky me to be married to a dear lamb; I would swallow him up if I were a wolf ..but am not though one of my so called friends enjoys calling me a wolf mockingly thinking shes very funny ..u know I really need much stronger teeth/tooth to become a real wolf ! (usually forget which form is the plural)

She better called me a tigress :P
how many more days will I be a clown thats something nobody can tell.. God only knows

this is a joke but maybe %50 true !

2010-09-01T15:16:00.002+04:30

You already know if you have taken a look into my profile that I am not into politics not only it makes me scared but also because i simply know Nothing about the issue. You ask me about a snake and i know nothing about that weired animal so i get scared just the same.

When I go into a social gathering meaning dinner parties weddings birthday parties etc .. i wish that i had brought my own pillow and could take a nap in a quiet corner unnoticed. wanna know why ? Because females are mostly discussing their make up or hair does or domestic affair or gossiping trivialities & males discussing cars and politics these are all things i dont give a damn about so it seeems I am in the middle of A Middle Age Crisis .. yeah that might B the problem , but surely i didn't brought it up manually; it came up with age ,, I am 45 now am I growing old ?? ! ! ah now ladies you get scared of discussing your ages .. huh but I am not. Age simply doesn't matter to me as long as am happy in peace the wrinkles at the corner of lips just adds to the beauty in my opinion, the growing white hair can b dyed and here my opinion now is the most important not any body's else !.. I simply throw up my shoulder to whoever who mocks.

My middle sized son makes me smile sometimes. He tells me this joke the other day and i took it as a politic joke. read it then decide for yourself :

In a national gathering authorities from all over the world sit, negotiate and discuss the world affair.

There was a question asked for discussion :

Wots ur opinion about the lack of food in other countries ?

Everybody kept staring at the speaker without a single reply just nodding their head dumbfounded and stupefied because :

the European knew nothing about lacks

the African knew nothing about food

the American knew nothing about other countries

and the Iranian knew nothing about opinions.

How could they discuss something they simply knew nothing about? ;)

rising from a mother's heart

2010-08-30T18:48:00.003+04:30

I have stopped my early morning walks for a few reasons... it was tiring and more than i could take.

Deciding to be a real good mother from the day my son's blow up. He was crying for me and because of me; it was me he was crying about desperately .. it was a heart wrenching sight when u witness your grown up son shedding tears .. Oh .. still feel awful even talking about it like seeing a nightmare.. but the nightmare came to this conclusion .. am gonna be a good mom from now on till death do us apart .. I will make him smile inshala !

the secret of a succeful day

2010-07-11T10:24:00.009+04:30

When serotonin takes control of the body and mind so it turns into an overload of words and new crazy ideas. Some beneficial, some devastatingly silly and mischievous.

After 24 years of married life I made a new discovery !

"the secrets to a successful happy day"

Of course this is not a self improvement blog but I'm willing to share these with those who are still wondering.

The secret is to rise early before sunrise and prepare lunch in advance and organize the day ahead of time !

so did I, unlike my blue days

Yesterday was Eid and a very nice day :

I woke up just a little before sunrise .. i crept out of the bed stealthily careful not to wake my husband, then prayed as fast as a wink .. deciding to do that in a better and graceful manner tomorrow!

Changing into a cotton T shirt and jeans I flew out of the house taking a walk to enjoy and breath the clean and fresh early morning air. there is peace and quite while everyone is sleep with no vehicle moving about to disturb the peace and quite....

To be continued ....

I'm Alive !

2010-07-09T13:38:00.003+04:30

HUMMM hummm hum humm I get wings to fly oH Ho ... I'm Alive !

yeah ..

I get wings to fly .. I feel that I'm Alive

when you bless the day I just drift away ...

and am glad that I'm Alive ...

My spirit takes flight ..

because I'm Alive

I know that.... i can touch the sky ..

and am glad that ..I'm Alive !

God Knows that ..

that I be the one standing by through good and through bad times

I can't wait for the rest of my life

have to do something ...

God knows that I'm ALLLive !

***** **** ***** ****

The Gift

2010-07-06T11:11:00.016+04:30

I've got some free time on my own now and God how much I need this .. everyone in the house has left me alone now and that seems a blessing for the time being!.. but oh i hear the door opening and he is in saying hi and how are yous .. i say hi and then "no am not good " is my second reply to his inquiring about me .. yeah i am not feeling okay .. not as happy as i started the day ! but thank God i have had a nice day moving about running around .. here and there in a childlike carefree happiness you may never experience. Everything is temporary .. happiness doesn't last long so the day ended not as it started .. quite the opposite I was a tigress in rage few moments ago and am not gonna tell you how and and why .. since talking about it hurts more .. so lets change the subject:

Today was Tuesday 6 July.

Tuesdays I'm free and do my best to amuse my/poor/self and have a little fun AMAP that's as much as possible.

This is what I scribbled on a piece of paper before going out to a friend today now am typing the words .. sharing it with whoever and everyone who cares to read:

Thank YOU God for giving me the day, the tuseday

It's a gift from YOU

The nicest gift i've ever received

You are Unique and so is YOUR gift.

>:D<

Time is getting short

2010-07-05T17:27:00.002+04:30

Finding no time to gossip, have no time to feel ill

No time to loose and waste, no time for silly words and then copy paste

Every second has a ticket .. if u wanna win just pick it

There's no time to pause and feel sad, no time to think bad

I've got no time to break the hearts here and there,

now it's getting much better and better.

Thank YOU God for letting me no time!

Viva knowledge; still a toddler stranded in poverty

2010-06-28T09:59:00.006+04:30

Taking the usual early walk I faced this Farsi quotation on the wall meaning:

No poverty is like lack of knowledge !

COFFEE\ TEA --------------------------------------- and .....?

2010-06-24T10:47:00.002+04:30

The say Laughter is the best med but wot about a Smile

huh?

I believe in God .. no wonder

2010-06-20T16:20:00.002+04:30

I dislike debates, going to details trying to prove my belief since each person is free to choose the way .. either right or wrong it is absolutely Not my business to guide and preach :P

and I dislike advertising for God and my faith since its Not my job.

I do believe:

1- We people and the skies and planet, the universe are created by an able hand not by a mere BOOOM! I believe God created me and the rest including plants and animals and stars and skies and planets and even the devil!( i call him He; though he is not male or female; because i know no other way to call him

2 - He is kind and merciful and does justice, He hears and listens and witnesses Everything

3 - He is closer to you and me than our earlobe

4 - He is beyond quality and quantity .. He just created them all

5 - God or wot ever the name is the One who saves or destroys by hands and devices that are viewable

6- He is the reason i prefer not go wrong and improve in every way .. I simply have no other reason.

( You may ask why earthquakes and floods, demises and natural disasters!
I both know and dont know cause there are lots of things i dont know and I know just a little but am sure whatever happens there must have been a reason for it.)

bye and take care wherever you are,

Othersideblue

the swing of a troubled mind

2010-06-16T23:05:00.007+04:30

Is it through the flame that I walks in peace?
hm ..if so I never notice

The rage, anger and madness season a life
Sometimes soft as a feather;
sometimes like a knife

The poor manic is she
one who lets her mood wriggle free

now don’t you sigh
let's have a cup of coffee; to satisfy

Is it a poisonous cup?

Let me drink every single drop

With hopes and less care
not aware

Promised no rose garden
I beg your pardon

The reflection smiles at me
looking into the mirror
to like what I see

No bonds and ties

comfortably numb
I've never been wise.

momentum

2010-06-14T09:30:00.015+04:30

It was like Yesterday
happily I started the day

Opened my window
Took a deep breath so and so

right before sunrise and the usual prayer
then thirstily I drank drops of water
mumbling a happy song under the shower
Combed my changing color hair
Watered the plants and pots and the flower
Then I washed the backyard putting everything into order
Dusted an array of table and chair

then the door bell .. Oh! ..I ran up to the door to open and smiled widely
a nice day to chitchat and have a cup of Turkish coffee

there were Coconut cookies freshly baked in the oven too
was So happy to share the day with you!

I talked nonsense; made you smile,
even for a few flying minutes made you forget your own worry.

Thank You Delirious!

2010-06-10T01:06:00.003+04:30

its a nice day

2010-06-04T16:42:00.007+04:30

yes it is a nice day either because my serotonin level is high or .. ?

Any how I am grateful wondering how and in what language to thank God enough; shall i whisper or say it out loud like mad? shall i say it in Arabic, Persian or English?

I Know God loves me and I can feel it with my whole existence now .. discovered it a few days ago but .. hushhh! am not going to tell you how cause it takes longer than you imagine. You would lose interest. I can see you yawning both patient and impatiently waiting for me to shut my mouth up :P

Today my son and i were chit chatting, that is something rare. I do not remember what we were actually talking about but this one particular discussion is still ringing in my ears " If my dad were rich he would/could marry a better woman" the last syllables spoken quieter and slower with fear till i could barely hear the end.

In any other circumstances I would be mad at him or at least offended but Now i see with amazement that this not only does not bother me but also this is something i agree with.

I regard this a victory and a joy; you may wonder why.

Being able to stand and hear the unpleasant fact means strength, a victory!

Being able to listen to a grown up son saying his opinion frankly into your face and smile and not frown means victory.

I am happy and I thank God for all the gifts He has poured over my life, for every single drop... I feel drenched in gratitude.

the blue bird of happiness

2010-05-25T14:03:00.014+04:30

Every year has its winter,

And every year has its rain__

But a day is always coming

When the birds fly north again

It's the sweetest thing to remember

If courage is on the wane,

When the cold, dark days are over__

The birds will fly north again.

___Ella Higginson

Peace

2009-03-23T23:42:00.003+04:30

I have nothing to write about anymore

Good bye

the new year's day is called Nurooz

2009-03-21T07:26:00.004+03:30

Today is the first day of the new day and the spring is blooming all around me in a lovely weather and i feel that i am alive and am glad to be alive; its a new discovery and rare feeling.

The sun shines with a new smile and the birds sing together celebrating the season.

Its good to pause and listen to the beautiful voice of nature; to live in the moment; now!

In my peaceful kitchen

2009-02-27T13:05:00.019+03:30

Why are Fridays like this? .. why do i feel lonely at Fridays even though its the only day of the week that every body is home and am not actually alone. Why do i feel like this? ~~

The other day i decided to make my boys happy so i made them pizza which they love and doesn't take long to prepare since its not my lazy days; and it took them only a few minutes to bite & swallow and finish with... from their remarks and the sparkle in their eyes i get it was a success :)

First thing to begin i made the dough and i left it to rise about 2 hours and left the kitchen.

Then back in the kitchen i was to heat the oven, saute the ground meat with onion and prepare the tomato sauce which i spread over the dough with chopped, mushrooms, raw onions, green pepper and green peas and sweet corn and added cream on top to make it tastier.

Then i put the pizzas in 400 degree oven to bake one by one for 20 minutes and just before it was done, spreading the top with shredded cheese and returned in the oven to melt over the top.

At last it was ready and i picked a picture to share here to last:

inside

2009-02-23T18:20:00.010+03:30

how strange ...
the way my moods change

how strange

the way i feel
Unable my Will

my heart crazy
my brain lazy

my life i leave with the past
to make me a feather dancing and turning with the wind.

My kid's fishbowl

2009-02-14T01:59:00.002+03:30

Through one's life

health, security, peace and love

are all essential,

like water for fishes

when the glass breaks we realize.

pursuits of everyday life

2009-01-31T13:52:00.017+03:30

Of the earth I am made

and across the earth i tread

and upon the earth i learn to live

and in Him I put my trust and faith

and back to earth i'll be taken to lay in

just like many others that you've already seen.

Earthenware is my favorite kind of pottery. The salad blowl is a handmade earthenware made in Hamedan Iran.
Yesterday i prepared tomatoes and lettuce salad for guests and liked to capture the view to post here to last:

.. am back with a high dose of serotonin

2009-01-25T12:00:00.021+03:30

hi .. this is the other crazy side of me speakin.

A kind of energy and speed has been mounting up inside me forcing me on to move around and talk and talk and talk from the time i wake.

At home my family are sometimes asking; sometimes begging me to keep quiet. hah, seems hard but can try anyhow.

I am self-absorbed and have fallen in love with me!

Not hating myself anymore now; It's a very nice feeling; wished i could describe the way it is exactly.

Few days ago i bought me a bunch of flowers; spending sometime to choose and pick each one with great care, here they are:

When one's mind is in peace it can be nice and peaceful stepping into a clean kitchen too; it is good to wash the dishes in quiet and disturb the quiet making lots of noises working in the kitchen and moreover i dont dislike cooking now; i even enjoy it, can you believe?

Today i made an apple pie for my guest; its ready now I offer you a piece if u come and knock my door:)

DIFFICULT

2008-11-30T16:49:00.009+03:30

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...

Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...

Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...

Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...

Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to put it into action...

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow

Easy is to keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings

...........
..................

Thoughts of a caterpillar

2008-06-20T11:41:00.003+04:30

Birds are not as free as i thought. I don't like to be a bird anymore.

The idea seems no longer overwhelming.

mindinside story

2008-04-18T10:45:00.002+04:30

Careless about the past or the mysterious future, just enjoying the present, I was having a nice joyful walk.The air I breathed felt wonderful as I gulped the fresh air in, filling up my lungs, mumbling a soft song as I walked passed the lovely road called life.

All of a sudden I, felt an opening beneath my step and before I could move, stumbled into a dark strange abyss. Terrified I called out for help in vain since nobody could hear.
At last I gave up calling and made an effort to get up trying to examine my surrounding in the dark. There I could feel nothing but a cold rough wall cutting me off from the out side world with the mere darkness engulfing me.

There was no one there to hold, neither a hand nor warm caring opened arms that I could run into. A damn sickening darkness was all around, and who knew what was lurking in the corner.

I then craved the warmth of a humanly touch.
All I cared about was the closeness of another's hot breath as I sat there motionless, lost in desperation waiting for a miracle; waiting for a light to appear above my head.

I still glance up every once a while looking for a reflection to help me find the way out.

Happiness is not a thing; it is a feeling

2008-04-13T08:51:00.027+04:30

As an empty notebook to draw or paint in colorful hues

as the pages are turned over

leaf after leaf; day after day

life is our given gift.

Eternity

2008-04-05T15:59:00.002+04:30

There are two windows sealed and locked
right behind the gray stone wall, blocked

Hidden from the eye
one is you and the other I

One day the stonewall will brake and fall apart
to let us free and step into the light

We will die; you and I
into the eternity we will fly.

Can you imagine?

2008-03-09T11:59:00.002+03:30

Imagine even if it's hard to imagine
A world bright & fresh as a tangerine

A world of happiness; far away from cruelty
Where there's no meaning to hatred and envy

A world with the children of Adam & Eve living in peace and free
no lines separating a country
Where jails and prisons are just a fiction story

A world in bond and without border
A world without war; with no traces of bloodshed

A world full of friendship and full of love
passing windows you notice someone waves at you from above

The reality

2008-03-08T08:23:00.004+03:30

Candles extinguished by the winds of destiny
Everything lives here a while temporary

The hearts bury under the cobwebs and dust
once overwhelmed by passionate desires and lust

Minds haunted by the past and beauties that never last
Smiles a flicker of light amid the darkness vanishing as fast

Faces wrinkled; strands of hair turning white
Grows lifeless and dim the eyesight

Souls in turmoil; bodies losing shape
the seconds and minutes slipping away as a tape

As I walk on towards the border
with every breath I take the end comes closer and closer..

Relying on dreams means turning away from reality?

2008-03-04T19:09:00.005+03:30

Delightfuly shining twinkling star
amid the darkness blinking from afar

Our unreachable wishes and dreams
the more unreachable the more desirable it seems

If one day on the bright shining star we land
we would face no more than dark earth and sand

Still the mind goes astray
far from reality turning awry

Gazing at the filth and dirt of the street
the radiation of a thumping dreaming heart in conflict

A contrast, the thud
those with thirst and hunger; the urge for innocent blood

The weird creatures called humans which on blood they feed
with disgusting neverending greed

Giving the devil a helping hand harvesting the seed
in some corners of the filthy dirty street,

men get killed; mothers die and the children left to bleed.

Yet

2008-03-03T08:45:00.007+03:30

Stuffed with something you don't bring into words lest its sinful
you have lots to say and lots to express but pretend as a fool

you have the mind of a babe
life is short; time rules the crazy days and nights obey

you are scrutinized and judged here and there
could they see inside you they wouldn't be so unfair

you have a heart inside your chest thumping
in your heart rhythm you hear the sound of a step arriving

yet you keep silent when you got a lot to say
above the horizon Sun ascends as always to let the destiny play.

From the other side

2008-03-01T10:31:00.004+03:30

When it is raining and the wind blows
Looking for shelter the birds and the crows

When in your heart you feel a longing
Listen to the wind, you will hear someone singing

You will hear someone call
It's me calling and singing from the other side of the wall

Dancing in my limitless cage
giving my soul freedom from a camouflage

The road blocked
the door closed and locked

Entrapped and little strength left to strive
but it all does not stop me singing for I'm still alive.

beyond Seas

2007-09-16T07:12:00.005+03:30

I took this pic while driving along a country road that somehow reminded me of Olivia Newton John's old song.

a sunset sad but beautiful, isnt it?

Becoming fond of Sohrab Sepehri of lately, am sharing one of his works here turned into english:

I shall build a boat
I shall cast it in the water

I shall sail away from this strange earth
where no one awakens the heroes in the grove of love

a boat empty of net
and the heart longing for pearl

I shall continue sailing
Neither will I loose my heart for the blues
Nor for the mermaids who emerge from the water
To spread charm from their curls
On the lonely reflection of fishermen

I shall continue sailing
I shall continue singing

One should sail away, sail away
The night has sung its songs
Now it is the turn of windows

I shall continue sailing
I shall continue singing

Beyond the seas there is a town,
In which the windows open to reveal

Earth hears the music of your feeling
the fluttering sound of mythological birds is heard in the wind

beyond the seas there is a town
where the sun is as wide as the eyes of the early-risers
Poets inherit wisdom, light, and waters

Beyond the seas there is a town!
One must build a boat.

hearts

2007-08-13T08:04:00.001+03:30

Thousands secrets of nature we share

a rose needs sunshine; needs attention and care

Hearts pure as gold, free from dust, and free of mold

hearts are to give; they are never sold

The best gift we have ever given away

they are not toys to play

Hearts need attention and care
Birds need to fly in pair.

To the One who Hears

2007-06-29T07:25:00.004+03:30

برابري نكرد همه عالم و عالميان
دمی كه جوابم دادي آنسان

باز ديدم از بهشت بسويم دري
دمی كه بلطف خود پناهم دادي

كند مرده را زنده بينا شود كور
دیم كه بشنود صداي عزيز تو از دور

گرفت جان و شد صبر در وجودم با معنا
دمی كه بدان امر فرمودي مرا

in the wind

2007-05-04T07:34:00.001+03:30

Like a candle in the wind of destiny

the unstable mood and spirit demanding

a corner; a couple of arms to flee.

2007-04-25T07:07:00.001+03:30

The little polar bear keeps the walk slow

leaving behind her mind and soul lost amid the snow

to continue her journey through the snow covered road

the hailstorm causing a blurry vision fold

it's hard to find the light put by the window pane

the whole wolrd looks frozen along with drops of rain

from far the home comes to view or is just a mirage

she is supposed to reach home where dad is waiting in rage

the little polar bear keeps walking sluggishly

carrying the weight of a smile on her face mindlessly.

2007-04-14T07:35:00.001+03:30

Some more Serotonin ...... a couple of wings to fly

O God .. I am stuck to the ground

Happy new year?

2007-03-22T06:09:00.001+03:30

The new year brings a new day to start

new fresh leaves sprouting

Goldfish in the bowl looking for know not what.

2006-11-17T10:51:00.002+03:30

Here comes another day
another friday
it's all routine, duties and rules to obey

leave a tender trace in hearts and count a day
without false compliments to pay
then don't mind the day slip away.

The bitter chocolate

2006-08-29T20:55:00.001+03:30

Once upon a time, many many years ago
when the stars were brighter and the birds happier singing so

there lived two people in love
the sky shining over them from above

Such days they had and such nights
yielding words in each other's soft syllables and melted hearts

many times he wished he could stop the clock
to hold and freeze those hasty tick and tock

and came the time to say bye
to leave the world with a sigh

so temporary; so soon; so short the end seemed to appear
the sweet moments blending up in tear

leaving the other one in grief; the destiny unkind
what’s more bitter than being left behind?

a wall to rely on

2006-08-18T10:43:00.001+03:30

2006-08-04T22:34:00.001+03:30

The whole world blind and deaf

and me, voiceless

I have seen a dream

what shall I do?

unable to speak

and them people

unable to hear.

2006-07-22T06:54:00.001+03:30

Like a lonely leaf left to dry up on a stem

She fears the decay and being forgotten
fearful of falling victim into the arms of a heartless wind
through the hasty seconds to the end of horizon

the spring turns into an autumnal season
days of her life story reflecting the broken mirror of her heart
as gloomy as a thundering sky; as dark as night
like a lonely sunset hidden behind the clouds,
In vain she counts the minutes waiting for a sight.

not among us anymore

2006-07-16T19:20:00.001+03:30

Dear souls rest in peace without lullabies
rest in peace without pain and worries
winter nightmares you don’t have anymore
picking regret flowers you don't need any more
the sun is not getting you sun burned any more
the wind is not blasting your lovely face any more
and not waking up in doubts and worries any more
you left the puppets
leaving behind The jungle rules
leaving a world that kindness is strange to souls
you took your heart somewhere else
some place that heaven door bells
some place that angels sing you lullabies
you sleeping now without bedtime stories
May you rest in peace with no pain and no worries.

Those tears

2006-07-10T07:15:00.001+03:30

As they dragged me out of a warm, kind and protective womb 41 years ago, I was offered the box of chocolate that is called life and I took it obediently, ignorant about the inside and at the same time opened my eyelids to the world, screaming wildly.

So crying was my first experience in life. I cried when I was hungry or felt cold or uncomfortable and I got pampered, was cuddled and taken care of as best as possible.
By instinct I knew those tears were a good signal to make others aware of my basically urgent needs.

While growing up I began feeling ashamed of crying; I felt uneasy and embarrassed of showing my inner emotions even behind the closed door.
At the later years, little by little I learned hiding those precious pearls, those tears. I kept hiding those jewels until I lost trace of them completely.

Now there are times I feel the absence; times I feel like an overflowing bottle with the lead sealed and fastened tightly; there are times I desperately need my tears back. Maybe I will find those tears back again soon before the box of chocolate comes to end.

2006-07-10T06:15:00.001+03:30

For better or worse
I can no longer put my mind to force

You see my heartbeat still signals the morse
Still calling you with the same voice

only changing my writing style
giving you a chance to skip my poetry for a while

let's put away the lines for now to hell with them
since my heart’s now beating with no rhythm.

Every morning

2006-05-14T06:07:00.001+03:30

Hey you player, don’t cry in shame
We all are the same

Every morning we wake
We put a mask on our faces, a fake

One plays a teacher; one a wanderer
One plays as a singer; one becomes a song seller

The old mask of life remains on our faces until the late hours
And the silent hidden tears flow underneath like always

peer out of your mask for once

don’t speak words made in advance

Break free from the cocoon, the shell
Draw a window on the bars of the cell

we are who we are only for a glance
even for a breath If given a chance

For how long our masks are to speak the role?
For how long the silence is the ploy?

peer out of your mask for once
don’t speak words made in advance

Break free from the cocoon, the shell
draw a window on the bars of the cell

I want to shout out this song on the scene
I want to tear off my mask and shout like the real me which I've never been .

Comfortably numb

2006-04-28T14:57:00.001+03:30

Here my pen has lost the ink
has there ever been to confusion a URL, a link?
but I like to open my heart so you can peep in
seeking a strong wall to speak, to lean
so to find composure, so be it
be my dreams come true to meet
before stops my heart the beat
with the destiny it's useless to defeat
Don't give me advice, don't regard me the culprit
my mind unscrewed long ago … I lost it

closing the door to advices, life was my share of cup that I gave up....

2006-03-30T05:32:00.000+03:30

I faced an immediate warm sunny welcome as I stepped out doors taking a long deep breath.
The spring beauty is so inviting now that the trees are adorned with early bright green leaves.
My fig tree and bunches of "Golden waterfall" celebrate the spring time in a friendly unison along with the sunrays.

2006-03-04T08:25:00.001+03:30

My eyes are cracked

2006-02-26T00:40:00.001+03:30

Feels good to cry like rain and thunder
those tears more than gems to treasure
when blue
when no one to tell the heart to
when tears are dried and lost
I want them back; i need to
staring out the window
for how long will i be so?
the brain a hollow
eyes getting cracked

the flow of tears in them is lacked.

Sad day

2006-02-09T20:36:00.001+03:30

Oh ... how sad the day
Come; Come abundant tears
fill my eyes
run and flow
Come; Come burning sigh
turn me into a flame
and what remains of me
as the ashes of the ashtray.

2006-02-03T00:53:00.001+03:30

-*-

Beyond the dry, deserted land of my mind
over the cracked wall of my broken heart
hidden from the stranger's eyes
to win over eternity
my treasure lies
my heart will stop beating when the last day arrives
but there's something within, that never dies
safely hidden from the eyes
to win over eternity
my treasure lies.

Dream world

2006-01-13T09:27:00.001+03:30

The dreamlike world above
fabulous blue sky
the clouds in a wonderful design
resembling cotton wool
all together, whatever the time
a beautiful poem
a beautiful rhyme.

Hey you angels

2005-11-05T15:19:00.001+03:30

I’ve been neglecting this page
Today I’m out of my cage
I step here to dust & care
and perfume for pleasure
Some water to refresh my flower
Leaving the windows open for more air
Hey angels here I need your wings
To nourish the imagination
A feather to tickle my sensation
So I fight the pirates with glory
a teasing smile; haughty and naughty
Hey angels, lend me your wings
So I fly to the other side of blues

flying over the cuckoo’s nest

and land on the cannibal's island

to peer into my rabbit’s hole and be there a guest

wondering if I'd be eaten alive or cooked first!

يا علی

2005-10-06T06:53:00.003+03:30

Words are beautiful from your mouth
a place brightens with you; and just you about
my dreams and wishes all forgotten
Other thoughts silly and rotten
It’s you whom I seek, whom I need; which I care
a drop of my tear makes you aware
the heaven is your kingdom and the angels yours to serve
and more you deserve and more you deserve
Won’t trade your smile with heaven
won't trade your smile with the sky
Let me die in peace and see you smiling at my side

only your smile I need so the other world to abide.

Life is a story

2005-09-25T16:55:00.001+03:30

Life is a story, a ball
a drama until the curtains fall
In the middle of a scene
as she plays the role of a happy queen
She falls knocked down

trying to smile; hiding her frown
It happens to her again & again
filling her up; making her mind go insane
does she deserve it ; isn’t it unfair?
now her eyes glistening with tear
her red balloon lost in the air
Now don’t throw her a rope

don’t give her another chance
for she gave up seeking, sits there frozen in a trance
someone thinks she is made of stone
someone thinks she has no heart beside flesh & bone
as she walks on the edge the days come & go
the clock's chime

reminds her of time

a time the curtain falls.

Hours

2005-09-17T11:11:00.001+04:30

The daily routine impatient and waiting
while she wonders how to keep floating

she spends sometimes at her desk pondering

how to start the day with her heart beating so slow
how to start afresh, how to bring back the glow

and all she has to do is to keep on with the flow

The daily routine ....the starting of another day
be strong, be patient, keep going, take care
easy for others to say

And all she need is the bunch of flowers
to feel a flip of joy in her heart for hours
hears a whisper calling her from above the towers

Past above the tower of time
runs no clock no chime

Its shadow high above her she casts a glance
she will hurry there when she gets the chance

For the moment all she need is the bunch of flowers
the flip of joy in her heart to keep her going for hours.

That's what friends are for

2005-09-13T06:47:00.001+04:30

You need to get something off your chest
to unburden what hurts you and rest

to close the door and fasten the lid
to get it open when you are in need

you need a Wishing Well
you need to have what no money can buy nor sell

to whisper your wishes and dreams to
you need a stone to talk into

not a wishingwell nor a stone but I offer you a heart of water & mud
a heart made of flesh and blood

a heart so hard to get and easy to mend; to keep your secrets in and pile up your sorrow
to get back when you have nowhere else to go

tell me of your dreams, of your wishes
tell me what’s been hurting you for years

in my chest keep what’s burdening you and more
that’s what friends are for..

The change

2005-08-28T18:53:00.001+04:30

You've got to love someone

You've got to see how beautiful shines the sun
You've got to feel the longing the beat that keeps your heart run

the yearning & tears, the silent cry all gone

while you are with the loved one

no worry in your mind pricks
The color rushing back on your cheeks

Savoring the golden moments

Hearts fluttering like butterfly

ready to please, a radiant smile

vulnerable and shy.

2005-08-22T18:57:00.000+04:30

..... Smiles

Eve

2005-08-19T10:25:00.001+04:30

Makes him realize
just to look into her eyes

Makes him believe
as her smile is his relieve

The pain and hardship
melts away in true friendship

She might bring him anger, might make him real mad
when her smile dawns, he feels no longer sad

Sweeter than honey
cute as a smile of a baby

Leaves them just a single wish
at the moment to stop the time would be a relish.

****

2005-08-18T21:05:00.001+04:30

Lets forget the worries, let's sit here for a while.

To be or Not to be

2005-08-15T20:56:00.001+04:30

To be a drop of rain melting into the earth
to be the sparkle of light,
to vanish into the night
Or be a sigh escaping the breath
why am I me, a vulnerable being
why not be a bird?
or a lamb in a herd
my chest feels heavy; the heart longing to cry
but I just give out a sigh
I am a woman not a drop of rain
have to bear so much pain
how can I ever laugh again?
living my life in vain
He asks me why i did this or that
What would I answer?
"You made me ..You know better"

See the beauty

2005-08-07T18:10:00.001+04:30

The leaf of a tree

a flower in the meadow

a bird in the sky

and the sky so blue

A feather dancing with the wind

a lover's sweet and silly wink,

makes one’s heart sink

To see the beauty
how green a tree

To be out of the shadow,

and watch a pink smiling lily.

>>>>> <<<<<

2005-07-16T14:46:00.001+04:30

I don't know if you know of the sorrow, of my pain
I don't know if you know of the trap i've fallen in
I don't know if you ever find the grave my soul is buried within
I don't know if you know how the tears in my eyes dance to and fro
I don't know if you know how my eyes is losing it's glow
I don't know if you know how my heart needs to cry
I don't know if you know how my soul longs to fly.

)))))))))))))

2005-07-11T10:17:00.001+04:30

Assure me you'll come at my grave
I will gladly die
Assure me you'll take my hand to save
I will gladly die
Assure me it will save you a tiny scar
I will gladly die
But all you ask me is to be good and I fall
To put a stop to it all,
I will gladly die
My angle, my darling
ask me to stop breathing
I will
ask me to go under a guillotine
I will
but being good
I have lost the power,
I’ve lost the will.

Listen

2005-07-11T08:50:00.001+04:30

In an empty space
In stillness of my mind
There I cry out your name
if you listen to the silence
if you listen to the rain
if you listen to the wind
You may hear a voice calling you
a whisper in your ear.

The story

2005-07-08T11:32:00.003+04:30

Once upon a time lived a girl in a world of her needs and quest
mysteries she should solve the best

The sweet memories she would save
was ready for the hard special road to pave

Kept waiting ……and waiting …and waiting
her birdlike eyes gazing ahead, dreaming

Far in the horizon would come to take her the rider on a horse
or if like Peter Pan she could float in the air with no force

Days marching forward, time passed and seasons changed
fresh leaves dried up but her mind the same remained

So the duck turned into a swan
the girl grew up to become a woman

a woman who has the mind of a baby girl
the quest, needs and desires a swirl

Now the girl a woman and her heart easy to break
sunshine smiles each day for her sake
she dares not make a mistake

Surviving up and downs of life
she’s not an angel .. she is just a wife

the quests, needs and desire still in her mind a frame
to give her reason to live; to make her days colorful not the same
may a pure heavenly love warm her up in a flame.

2005-07-06T19:17:00.001+04:30

So beautiful ... needs no words

The meaning

2005-07-04T18:15:00.001+04:30

Wonder if life has a meaning
people wandering, sometimes gaining or losing

are there keys to doors and roads to cross
is love the sweet reason to come to life for us?

not a philosopher
but I know Love is the answer

the pearl hidden inside a heart
you'r not able to get apart

pure and strong
a fire burning fiercely within night and day long

leaving no thought,

but the one you sought

pure and powerful
simply wonderful

not a scientist
but I know love truly exist.

The Wonderland

2005-07-02T07:43:00.001+04:30

The land I live in is green
which I stepped in as a queen

No voice, no sound; far far away from a crowd
rabbits looking happy and proud

Just the sound of silence
just the sea glittering in brilliance

And silence keeps me company
or sometimes broken to let a bird sing to me

The only roof is my blue sky which the birds feel free to spread their wings and fly
flapping its colorful wings little butterfly; no need to worry, no need to cry

The birds and butterflies living free
since my land is clean of enemy

Just the bright colored lively flowers surrounding me
the sun and the moon each a beauty; Shining from above and smiling in harmony.

**

2005-06-28T17:18:00.001+04:30

Cool and fresh like the morning breeze .......
Comes a feeling to make someone's heart at ease

an untold story

2005-06-25T18:04:00.002+04:30

In the quietness of a summer afternoon
here I laze a while on the ground
beside me glides my red balloon
a hand under my chin
my pen caressing the sleepy paper watching
Looking for words I try to find
to write you of my heart & of my mind
to write you of untold
to write you a story never sold
to write you about a wild horse
of her need and desire to ramble with no remorse
I would write infinitely
but words keep playing hide and seek with me
if time my captive and words obedient
I would be writing for you endlessly.

( I dedicate this poem to my dear friend)

2005-06-11T05:42:00.001+04:30

2005-06-11T05:41:00.001+04:30

Overflow

2005-06-09T08:03:00.001+04:30

Throwing the dark glasses away
the happiness comes back to me this way
for the sky looks bluer
and the sun shining brighter, O may
How beautiful to be a kid and play
How marvelous
As I put the dark glasses away
Worries packed and disposed
the sad mood to pester me vapors
Gloomy clouds vanish,
The grim face of life to hell with, I say
Throwing the dark glasses miles away
Seems everything smiles at me today
I hear a whisper,
asking me to smile back in return and I obey
The sparkle back,
into my eyes .. into The windows of my soul
I put a light at my windows
So through the darkness you may find your way

...................

**

2005-06-05T07:30:00.001+04:30

The lovely flowers I recieved on my birthday

This is not a poem

2005-05-24T12:43:00.001+04:30

There are days in my life I prefer to skip away
like I do today
Let it go with the wind .. let it blow away
I just watch and be the witness to a rainy day
Can't smile .... nor can I pray
Sorry for what I say
Can't help it .... everything seems gray
Save yourself and be away
I hate to see you hurt or dismay
By the way,
Tell me What is Love if you may

a deep breath

2005-05-19T07:36:00.001+04:30

At the side of the wall a girl is waiting
a twinkle of hope in her dreamy eyes
her lips partly open
her mind an ocean
She's been waiting for so long
to defeat the time she mumbles a song
Now throwing aside her sorrow
She looks for an Opening, a Window
into a brighter world
where hearts need not be enfold
into the Other side
so to float with the serene peaceful tide
She's been kept in dark
Now she needs an embark
Giving out a sigh
a new try
She inhales a deep breath
A deep deep breath
to surrender
to welcome the future
mumbling a sweet happy song.

The wall

2005-05-16T08:43:00.001+04:30

Wished I could break the wall
The cold silent mocking wall
blocking the road, blocking the way
I cry out in vain
A voiceless cry but nobody hears
am getting insane
the wind might hear me
or the sun & the moon and maybe the rain
they may hear and witness the pain.

On my back a bag

2005-05-05T09:33:00.001+04:30

A cotton bag on my back I carry
waking up and back to life every day
My bag is jammed up with the life ahead
The days ahead which I can't count

The happenings I can't foresee

wondering how many days left in the bag

though it feels no heavy

wished I could peer in and see
I'v spent the most carelessly

The rest unknown, Future scares me

I flow with the currents, floating with destiny.

The night

2005-04-25T06:01:00.002+04:30

Looking out my bedroom window I marvel at the beauty
The moon shining, smiling kindly

The night clear; silence everywhere
a fresh breeze appear

The scent is of a spring flower
A cascade of moonlight, silvery shower

through my window .. into my heart
caressing my body, caressing my soul

What a beauty! I ponder

Cold cold hearts

2005-04-19T06:07:00.002+04:30

Take her from here...
To where her heart be no longer cold

Please

2005-04-17T05:46:00.001+04:30

Birds open their wings wide in the air, seeking love
Creatures move in a hope of finding love
Wandering in mind I always be
as long as I live & as long as I find the air for me
O God ... where are Thee?
Your poor miserable maid needs You awfully
Into Your arm she needs to flee
Into Your arm as a refugee
She needs to be loved
She needs this mystery solved
Take her from here, from the filth of this world
To where her heart be no longer cold
To where love is as pure as gold
an everlasting world
where angles live & fly
where eagles dare not pry
You who brought love to earth
You who brought her along with birth
You who feed her and give her faith,
Please, quench her in love
before its too late.

Otherside

2005-04-07T05:29:00.001+04:30

It's been years and years, over the years I survive
depression eating me alive
no one the cause .. No one to blame
It's eating my soul like a flame
every shoulder carries a burden
each has a share if different not the same
unable to pray or sometimes shed a tear
with people I pretend I hear
my mind a confusion
obesessed with emotion
sinking in an endless ocean
days pass by ..... one by one
pleased to watch the days pass
came another sun
my mate has had a lot
the future I wonder about
I'm the gooseberry he can't swallow, nor can he throw out.

As I see u coming my way

2005-03-11T05:56:00.001+03:30

I was going to tell you of the sorrow,
Of my heartache
But I find none to say
Since the sorrow melts away
as I see you coming my way.

-------------

2005-02-27T06:51:00.001+03:30

Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly
Let it cut more deep

Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can

Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice
So tender,

My need of God
Absolutely Clear.

(From HAFEZ, the Persian poet)

Empty

2005-02-20T06:39:00.001+03:30

Loving my solitude whenever it be
With no one around buzzing like a bee
No pretence, no words of politeness, a time I feel free
People, a boredom since I wonder how to please
So I seek my solitude when and where it is

Every single day with every beat of my heart
I look for something I know not what
Seeking a miracle to happen if might,
bring into my heart a light
Or a day wonderfully bright
Or a wind blowing me to a place out of sight
There would be no worries left, no evil to fight
what's on my mind I can’t put into words right
Here I am clad in white,
waiting for the miracle to pour into my heart the light.