rising from a mother's heart

I have stopped my early morning walks for a few reasons... it was tiring and more than i could take.


Deciding to be a real good mother from the day my son's blow up. He was crying for me and because of me; it was me he was crying about desperately .. it was a heart wrenching sight when u witness your grown up son shedding tears  .. Oh .. still feel awful even talking about it like seeing a nightmare.. but the nightmare came to this conclusion .. am gonna be a good mom from now on till death do us apart .. I will make him smile inshala !

the secret of a succeful day

When serotonin takes control of the body and mind so it turns into an overload of words and new crazy ideas. Some beneficial, some devastatingly silly and mischievous.

After 24 years of married life I made a new discovery !  

"the secrets to a successful happy day"

Of course this is not a self improvement blog but I'm willing to share these with those who are still wondering.

The secret is to rise early before sunrise and prepare lunch in advance and organize the day ahead of time ! 

so did I, unlike my blue days


Yesterday was Eid and a very nice day :

I woke up just a little before sunrise .. i crept out of the bed stealthily careful not to wake my husband, then prayed as fast as a wink .. deciding to do that  in a better and graceful manner tomorrow!

Changing into a cotton T shirt and jeans I flew out of the house taking a walk to enjoy and breath the clean and fresh early morning air. there is peace and quite while everyone is sleep with no vehicle moving about to disturb the peace and quite....

To be continued ....

I'm Alive !

HUMMM hummm hum humm I get wings to fly oH Ho ... I'm Alive !

yeah ..

I get wings to fly .. I feel that I'm Alive

when you bless the day I just drift away ...

and am glad that I'm Alive ...

My spirit takes flight ..

because I'm Alive

I know that.... i can touch the sky ..

and am glad that ..I'm Alive !

God Knows that ..

that I be the one standing by through good and through bad times

I can't wait for the rest of my life

have to do something ...

God knows that I'm ALLLive !

*****              ****              *****             ****

The Gift

I've got some free time on my own now and God how much I need this .. everyone in the house has left me alone now and that seems a blessing for the time being!.. but oh i hear the door opening and he is in saying hi and how are yous .. i say hi and then "no am not good " is my second reply to his inquiring about me .. yeah i am not feeling okay .. not as happy as i started the day ! but thank God i have had a nice day moving about running around .. here and there in a childlike carefree happiness you may never experience. Everything is temporary .. happiness doesn't last long so the day ended not as it started .. quite the opposite  I was a tigress in rage few moments ago and am not gonna tell you how and and why .. since talking about it hurts more .. so lets change the subject:

Today was Tuesday  6 July.

Tuesdays I'm free and do my best to amuse my/poor/self and have a little fun AMAP that's as much as possible.

This is what I scribbled on a piece of paper before going out to a friend today now am typing the words .. sharing it with whoever and everyone who cares to read:


Thank YOU God for giving me the day, the tuseday

It's a gift from YOU

The nicest gift i've ever received

You are Unique and so is YOUR gift.

>:D<

Time is getting short

Finding no time to gossip, have no time to feel ill

No time to loose and waste, no time for silly words and then copy paste

Every second has a ticket .. if u wanna win just pick it

There's no time to pause and feel sad, no time to think bad

I've got no time to break the hearts here and there,

now it's getting much better and better.

Thank YOU God for letting me no time!   

Viva knowledge; still a toddler stranded in poverty

  Taking the usual early walk I faced this Farsi quotation on the wall meaning:

No poverty is like lack of knowledge !

COFFEE\ TEA --------------------------------------- and .....?

The say Laughter is the best med but wot about a Smile

huh?

I believe in God .. no wonder

  I dislike debates, going to details trying to prove my belief since each person is free to choose the way .. either right or wrong it is absolutely Not my business to guide and preach :P

and I dislike advertising for God and my faith since its Not my job.

I do believe:

1- We people and the skies and planet, the universe are created by an able hand not by a mere BOOOM! I believe God created me and the rest including plants and animals and stars and skies and planets and even the devil!( i call him He; though he is not male or female; because i know no other way to call him

2 - He is kind and merciful and does justice, He hears and listens and witnesses Everything

3 - He is closer to you and me than our earlobe

4 -  He is beyond quality and quantity .. He just created them all

5 - God or wot ever the name is the One who saves or destroys by hands and devices that are viewable

6- He is the reason i prefer not go wrong and improve in every way .. I simply have no other reason.



( You may ask why earthquakes and floods, demises and natural disasters!
I both know and dont know cause there are lots of things i dont know and I know just a little but am sure whatever happens there must have been a reason for it.)


bye and take care wherever you are,

Othersideblue

the swing of a troubled mind

Is it through the flame that I walks in peace?
hm ..if so I never notice

  

The rage, anger and madness season a life                
Sometimes soft as a feather;
sometimes like a knife


The poor manic is she
one who lets her mood wriggle free

now don’t you sigh
let's have a cup of coffee; to satisfy                          
   
Is it a poisonous cup?

Let me drink every single drop

With hopes and less care
 not aware

Promised no rose garden
I beg your pardon

The reflection smiles at me
looking into the mirror
to like what I see

No bonds and ties

comfortably numb
I've never been wise.

momentum

It was like Yesterday
happily I started the day

Opened my window
Took a deep breath so and so

right before sunrise and the usual prayer
then thirstily I drank drops of water 
mumbling a happy song under the shower
Combed my changing color hair
Watered the plants and pots and the flower
Then I washed the backyard putting everything into order
Dusted an array of  table and chair



then the door bell .. Oh! ..I ran up to the door to open and smiled widely
a nice day to chitchat and have a cup of Turkish coffee

there were Coconut cookies freshly baked in the oven too
was So happy to share the day with you!

I talked nonsense; made you smile,
even for a few flying minutes made you forget your own worry.

Thank You Delirious!

its a nice day

yes it is a nice day either because my serotonin level is high or .. ?

Any how I am grateful wondering how and in what language to thank God enough; shall i whisper or say it out loud like mad?  shall i say it in Arabic, Persian or English?

I Know God loves me and I can feel it with my whole existence now .. discovered it a few days ago but .. hushhh! am not going to tell you how cause it takes longer than you imagine. You would lose interest. I can see you yawning both patient and impatiently waiting for me to shut my mouth up :P

Today my son and i were chit chatting, that is something rare. I do not remember what we were actually talking about but this one particular discussion is still ringing in my ears " If my dad were rich he would/could marry a better woman" the last syllables spoken quieter and slower with fear till i could barely hear the end.

In any other circumstances I would be mad at him or at least offended but Now i see with amazement that this not only does not bother me but also this is something i agree with.

I regard this a victory and a joy; you may wonder why.

Being able to stand and hear the unpleasant fact means strength, a victory!

Being able to listen to a grown up son saying his opinion frankly into your face and smile and not frown means victory.

I am happy and I thank God for all the gifts He has poured over my life, for every single drop... I feel drenched in gratitude.

the blue bird of happiness

Every year has its winter,

And every year has its rain__

But a day is always coming

When the birds fly north again




It's the sweetest thing to remember

If courage is on the wane,

When the cold, dark days are over__

The birds will fly north again.

___Ella Higginson

Peace

I have nothing to write about anymore


Good bye

the new year's day is called Nurooz

Today is the first day of the new day and the spring is blooming all around me in a lovely weather and i feel that i am alive and am glad to be alive; its a new discovery and rare feeling.

The sun shines with a new smile and the birds sing together celebrating the season.

Its good to pause and listen to the beautiful voice of nature; to live in the moment; now!

In my peaceful kitchen

Why are Fridays like this? .. why do i feel lonely at Fridays even though its the only day of the week that every body is home and am not actually alone. Why do i feel like this? ~~



The other day i decided to make my boys happy so i made them pizza which they love and doesn't take long to prepare since its not my lazy days; and it took them only a few minutes to bite & swallow and finish with... from their remarks and the sparkle in their eyes i get it was a success :)

First thing to begin i made the dough and i left it to rise about 2 hours and left the kitchen.

Then back in the kitchen i was to heat the oven, saute the ground meat with onion and prepare the tomato sauce which i spread over the dough with chopped, mushrooms, raw onions, green pepper and green peas and sweet corn and added cream on top to make it tastier.

Then i put the pizzas in 400 degree oven to bake one by one for 20 minutes and just before it was done, spreading the top with shredded cheese and returned in the oven to melt over the top.

At last it was ready and i picked a picture to share here to last:

 

inside

how strange ...
the way my moods change

how strange

the way i feel
Unable my Will

my heart crazy
my brain lazy

my life i leave with the past
to make me a feather dancing and turning with the wind.

My kid's fishbowl

Through one's life

health, security, peace and love

are all essential,

like water for fishes

when the glass breaks we realize.

pursuits of everyday life

Of the earth I am made

and across the earth i tread


and upon the earth i learn to live

and in Him I put my trust and faith


and back to earth i'll be taken to lay in

just like many others that you've already seen.








Earthenware is my favorite kind of pottery. The salad blowl is a handmade earthenware made in Hamedan Iran.
Yesterday i prepared tomatoes and lettuce salad for guests and liked to capture the view to post here to last:

.. am back with a high dose of serotonin

hi .. this is the other crazy side of me speakin.

A kind of energy and speed has been mounting up inside me forcing me on to move around and talk and talk and talk from the time i wake.

At home my family are sometimes asking; sometimes begging me to keep quiet. hah, seems hard but can try anyhow.

I am self-absorbed and have fallen in love with me!

Not hating myself anymore now; It's a very nice feeling; wished i could describe the way it is exactly.


Few days ago i bought me a bunch of flowers; spending sometime to choose and pick each one with great care, here they are:







When one's mind is in peace it can be nice and peaceful stepping into a clean kitchen too; it is good to wash the dishes in quiet and disturb the quiet making lots of noises working in the kitchen and moreover i dont dislike cooking now; i even enjoy it, can you believe?








Today i made an apple pie for my guest; its ready now I offer you a piece if u come and knock my door:)