Those tears

As they dragged me out of a warm, kind and protective womb 41 years ago, I was offered the box of chocolate that is called life and I took it obediently, ignorant about the inside and at the same time opened my eyelids to the world, screaming wildly.

So crying was my first experience in life. I cried when I was hungry or felt cold or uncomfortable and I got pampered, was cuddled and taken care of as best as possible.
By instinct I knew those tears were a good signal to make others aware of my basically urgent needs.

While growing up I began feeling ashamed of crying; I felt uneasy and embarrassed of showing my inner emotions even behind the closed door.
At the later years, little by little I learned hiding those precious pearls, those tears. I kept hiding those jewels until I lost trace of them completely.

Now there are times I feel the absence; times I feel like an overflowing bottle with the lead sealed and fastened tightly; there are times I desperately need my tears back. Maybe I will find those tears back again soon before the box of chocolate comes to end.

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8 comments:

I love Munich said...

You narrated that very beautifully but it does sound sad, very sad ...
If I try to read between the lines I can almost sense despair ... am I far off?
Sometimes an embrace of a close and trusted friend who understands does loosen and even remove this tightly sealed cork ...
I'm sending you a big hug in the hope it does help!

jac said...

I know the value of those pearls, for its worth a million words, and when you are not able to shed it...it is like suppressing a million words.


"Time engraves our faces with all the tears we have not shed."

-Natalie Clifford-

But there will be a time when you will have tears of joy, every one has a period like that.

I think, that your writing is as good as your poetry.

Congrats for this lovely post about you.

A.H.ROSTAMI said...

Hi! You wrote a beautiful and emotional writing.
Am I allowed to say that it is also good to laugh. Life is beautiful. It is said that when believers hear the name of God the tears come in their eyes.
Your writing is excellent.

Othersideblue said...

munich,
Isn't life a blend of sad & happy moments?
I have a right to feel sad sometimes but I keep up with happiness also; a happiness that brings color to my life, even if it means daydreaming.

Thank you for the hug:)

Othersideblue said...

jac,
I appreciate your words of understanding

I sincerely thank you for the compliment about my writing ..
It feels good to write especially when one has such thoughtful readers.

Othersideblue said...

Mr. Rostami,
I admit that I have not much experience in writing .. yes its just emotion which boils over and urges me to start writing.

Of course laughter is a part of living which I don't a pass a day without.
Life is beautiful indeed if ..

Thank you for the compliment and for the attention you are paying.

m.reza said...

Tears are humans best friends, they are always there when you need them, and they give as much as you can take, and they wont get sad or mad if you don’t think of them for awhile. But like any friend, they need something from you, the rhythm of your heart that is. Please don’t lose that.

Othersideblue said...

m.reza,
I know how good they do but
I have long lost those friends, those drops of tears .. I feel utterly alone at times now ...i miss them.
Can i ever gain back the rhythm, I will.
Thanks for the advice:)