Seeking the blue bird of happiness ?




The art of being happy
lies in the power
of extracting happiness
from common things. 

                                                                                                                      ___Henry Ward Beecher

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there remains no word to bespoken

there's no use to try to cry out or unburden


trapped inside like a captive like a slave

the body and soul gradually turning into a grave


sometimes voices better go dead

sometimes things are better be left unsaid.

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Voices inside have started telling me you can't you can't you can't....

Fear, doubts and anxiety are whispering in my ears,


need to be strong to ignore and shake them off !

Oh... i need a mighty power !

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Where else can I find peace and happiness if  I can't find it within ?


How can I expect others to love me if am not able to love myself ?

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Sometimes mood swing is a total eclipse of the heart

Sometimes Life becomes a never ending challenge.



I don't believe in chasing crazy dreams.





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'tongue'

"The 'tongue' is the most unruly member of the body. You can either 'make' or 'break' someone with your tongue. I know that may sound humorous, but it is so true. We may be able to take back a lot of things, but we can never take back words spoken. That is why we must always watch what we say, and only speak the truth."



my dear newly discovered American friend Linda wrote me this precious advice the other day which I need to read and reread, keep in mind and never forget

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patience pays

Early morning was spent sometime on TV; I was witnessing Chili miners being rescued. The overjoyed faces when they met the family member after they reached the surface stepping on the ground was really worth watching to share the true joy and delight. I could feel a lump in my throat when each waiting family member wiped off their wet eyes every now and then.


Fortunately they got their reward; the family reunion and joyful smiles was not the work of any TV company , it was just real.


it's more than a new lesson . it's life and all about it. Patience pays

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Each day is a new lesson

 
Could be worse

This too will pass

I learned these two phrases today  which I can deeply feel and realize the true meaning

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Self confidence is a necessity or else I will turn into a donkey

The thought of past, people and all that has happened to me through the 45 years is haunting me like never before .. I don't like to share them with you or anybody else I don wanna share it with me either since its no use to go over the past salting the wounds.
I'd rather close the lid and throw the whole bottle out to the sea and whoever gets it shall do the same letting it immerse and absorb enough water maybe the dried up tears would flow pour out to the sea .. so the bottle feels released sailing back to me again .. maybe.

  To be a wolf or a tigress is so easy and to be donkey is not as easy as u imagine .. I would have to carry so much burden though nobody was ever pleased with me but wait what about being a real lady ?  I  have tried them all with the unique hidden potentials that I've already got from Dunno Where Land. A dear friend suggested be a lady and i replied thats easy too .. I've got that hidden potential also I only have to drag it out, a little bit dusting and cleaning and then watch it shine.

I'm learning to say no to people fighting against my own shyness or any lack of self confidence. This is another new lesson to me a new challenge, another battleship that needs lots of self confidence, energy, iron,Vitamin B and a very calm and polite attitude to face people so ladies stand up follow me; don't let be used like a tool show them all you are a lady not a donkey anymore. It works out they will even respect us, yes it works i tried.

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my mind has been crazy inside these past few days.. sleeplessness sneering and mocking.

Again he begs and ask me to take a rest and a cease fire and keep quite so he can  dozzzze offff.. the white flags are up; lucky me to be married to a dear lamb; I would swallow him up if I were a wolf ..but am not though one of my so called friends enjoys calling me a wolf mockingly thinking shes very funny ..u know I really need much stronger  teeth/tooth to become a real wolf ! (usually forget which form is the plural)




She better called me a tigress :P
how many more days will I be a clown thats something nobody can tell.. God only knows

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this is a joke but maybe %50 true !

 You already know if you have taken a look into my profile that I am not into politics not only it makes me scared but also because i simply know Nothing about the issue. You ask me about a snake and i know nothing about that weired animal so i get scared just the same.

When I go into a social gathering meaning dinner parties weddings birthday parties etc .. i wish that i had brought my own pillow and could take a nap in a quiet corner unnoticed. wanna know why ? Because females are mostly discussing their make up or hair does or domestic affair or gossiping trivialities & males discussing cars and politics these are all things i dont give a damn about so it seeems I am in the middle of A Middle Age Crisis .. yeah that might B the problem , but surely i didn't brought it up manually; it came up with age ,, I am 45 now am I growing old ?? ! ! ah  now ladies you get scared of discussing your ages .. huh but I am not.  Age simply doesn't matter to me as long as am happy in peace the wrinkles at the corner of  lips just adds to the beauty in my opinion, the growing white hair can b dyed and here my opinion now is the most important not any body's else !.. I simply throw up my shoulder to whoever who mocks.


My middle sized son makes me smile sometimes. He tells me this joke the other day and i took it as a politic joke. read it then decide for yourself :

In a national gathering authorities from all over the world sit, negotiate and discuss the world affair.

There was a question asked for discussion :

Wots ur opinion about the lack of food in other countries ? 
  
Everybody kept staring at the speaker without a single reply just nodding their head dumbfounded and stupefied because :

the European knew nothing about lacks

the African knew nothing about food

the American knew nothing about other countries 

and the Iranian knew nothing about opinions.
How could they discuss something they simply knew nothing about? ;) 

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rising from a mother's heart

I have stopped my early morning walks for a few reasons... it was tiring and more than i could take.


Deciding to be a real good mother from the day my son's blow up. He was crying for me and because of me; it was me he was crying about desperately .. it was a heart wrenching sight when u witness your grown up son shedding tears  .. Oh .. still feel awful even talking about it like seeing a nightmare.. but the nightmare came to this conclusion .. am gonna be a good mom from now on till death do us apart .. I will make him smile inshala !

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the secret of a succeful day

When serotonin takes control of the body and mind so it turns into an overload of words and new crazy ideas. Some beneficial, some devastatingly silly and mischievous.

After 24 years of married life I made a new discovery !  

"the secrets to a successful happy day"

Of course this is not a self improvement blog but I'm willing to share these with those who are still wondering.

The secret is to rise early before sunrise and prepare lunch in advance and organize the day ahead of time ! 

so did I, unlike my blue days


Yesterday was Eid and a very nice day :

I woke up just a little before sunrise .. i crept out of the bed stealthily careful not to wake my husband, then prayed as fast as a wink .. deciding to do that  in a better and graceful manner tomorrow!

Changing into a cotton T shirt and jeans I flew out of the house taking a walk to enjoy and breath the clean and fresh early morning air. there is peace and quite while everyone is sleep with no vehicle moving about to disturb the peace and quite....

To be continued ....

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I'm Alive !


HUMMM hummm hum humm I get wings to fly oH Ho ... I'm Alive !

yeah ..

I get wings to fly .. I feel that I'm Alive

when you bless the day I just drift away ...

and am glad that I'm Alive ...

My spirit takes flight ..

because I'm Alive

I know that.... i can touch the sky ..

and am glad that ..I'm Alive !

God Knows that ..

that I be the one standing by through good and through bad times

I can't wait for the rest of my life

have to do something ...

God knows that I'm ALLLive !

*****              ****              *****             ****

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The Gift






I've got some free time on my own now and God how much I need this .. everyone in the house has left me alone now and that seems a blessing for the time being!.. but oh i hear the door opening and he is in saying hi and how are yous .. i say hi and then "no am not good " is my second reply to his inquiring about me .. yeah i am not feeling okay .. not as happy as i started the day ! but thank God i have had a nice day moving about running around .. here and there in a childlike carefree happiness you may never experience. Everything is temporary .. happiness doesn't last long so the day ended not as it started .. quite the opposite  I was a tigress in rage few moments ago and am not gonna tell you how and and why .. since talking about it hurts more .. so lets change the subject:

Today was Tuesday  6 July.

Tuesdays I'm free and do my best to amuse my/poor/self and have a little fun AMAP that's as much as possible.

This is what I scribbled on a piece of paper before going out to a friend today now am typing the words .. sharing it with whoever and everyone who cares to read:


Thank YOU God for giving me the day, the tuseday

It's a gift from YOU

The nicest gift i've ever received

You are Unique and so is YOUR gift.

>:D<

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Time is getting short

Finding no time to gossip, have no time to feel ill

No time to loose and waste, no time for silly words and then copy paste

Every second has a ticket .. if u wanna win just pick it

There's no time to pause and feel sad, no time to think bad

I've got no time to break the hearts here and there,

now it's getting much better and better.




Thank YOU God for letting me no time!   

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Viva knowledge; still a toddler stranded in poverty



  Taking the usual early walk I faced this Farsi quotation on the wall meaning:

No poverty is like lack of knowledge !

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COFFEE\ TEA --------------------------------------- and .....?




The say Laughter is the best med but wot about a Smile

huh?

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I believe in God .. no wonder

  I dislike debates, going to details trying to prove my belief since each person is free to choose the way .. either right or wrong it is absolutely Not my business to guide and preach :P

and I dislike advertising for God and my faith since its Not my job.

I do believe:

1- We people and the skies and planet, the universe are created by an able hand not by a mere BOOOM! I believe God created me and the rest including plants and animals and stars and skies and planets and even the devil!( i call him He; though he is not male or female; because i know no other way to call him

2 - He is kind and merciful and does justice, He hears and listens and witnesses Everything

3 - He is closer to you and me than our earlobe

4 -  He is beyond quality and quantity .. He just created them all

5 - God or wot ever the name is the One who saves or destroys by hands and devices that are viewable

6- He is the reason i prefer not go wrong and improve in every way .. I simply have no other reason.



( You may ask why earthquakes and floods, demises and natural disasters!
I both know and dont know cause there are lots of things i dont know and I know just a little but am sure whatever happens there must have been a reason for it.)


bye and take care wherever you are,

Othersideblue

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the swing of a troubled mind

Is it through the flame that I walks in peace?
hm ..if so I never notice

  
The rage, anger and madness season a life                
Sometimes soft as a feather;
sometimes like a knife


The poor manic is she
one who lets her mood wriggle free

now don’t you sigh
let's have a cup of coffee; to satisfy                          
   
Is it a poisonous cup?
Let me drink every single drop

With hopes and less care
 not aware

Promised no rose garden
I beg your pardon

The reflection smiles at me
looking into the mirror
to like what I see

No bonds and ties
comfortably numb
I've never been wise.

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momentum

It was like Yesterday
happily I started the day

Opened my window
Took a deep breath so and so

right before sunrise and the usual prayer
then thirstily I drank drops of water 
mumbling a happy song under the shower
Combed my changing color hair
Watered the plants and pots and the flower
Then I washed the backyard putting everything into order
Dusted an array of  table and chair



then the door bell .. Oh! ..I ran up to the door to open and smiled widely
a nice day to chitchat and have a cup of Turkish coffee

there were Coconut cookies freshly baked in the oven too
was So happy to share the day with you!


I talked nonsense; made you smile,
even for a few flying minutes made you forget your own worry.


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Thank You Delirious!

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its a nice day





yes it is a nice day either because my serotonin level is high or .. ?

Any how I am grateful wondering how and in what language to thank God enough; shall i whisper or say it out loud like mad?  shall i say it in Arabic, Persian or English?

I Know God loves me and I can feel it with my whole existence now .. discovered it a few days ago but .. hushhh! am not going to tell you how cause it takes longer than you imagine. You would lose interest. I can see you yawning both patient and impatiently waiting for me to shut my mouth up :P

Today my son and i were chit chatting, that is something rare. I do not remember what we were actually talking about but this one particular discussion is still ringing in my ears " If my dad were rich he would/could marry a better woman" the last syllables spoken quieter and slower with fear till i could barely hear the end.

In any other circumstances I would be mad at him or at least offended but Now i see with amazement that this not only does not bother me but also this is something i agree with.

I regard this a victory and a joy; you may wonder why.

Being able to stand and hear the unpleasant fact means strength, a victory!
Being able to listen to a grown up son saying his opinion frankly into your face and smile and not frown means victory.

I am happy and I thank God for all the gifts He has poured over my life, for every single drop... I feel drenched in gratitude.

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the blue bird of happiness







Every year has its winter,

And every year has its rain__

But a day is always coming

When the birds fly north again




It's the sweetest thing to remember

If courage is on the wane,

When the cold, dark days are over__

The birds will fly north again.

___Ella Higginson

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