yes it is a nice day either because my serotonin level is high or .. ?
Any how I am grateful wondering how and in what language to thank God enough; shall i whisper or say it out loud like mad? shall i say it in Arabic, Persian or English?
I Know God loves me and I can feel it with my whole existence now .. discovered it a few days ago but .. hushhh! am not going to tell you how cause it takes longer than you imagine. You would lose interest. I can see you yawning both patient and impatiently waiting for me to shut my mouth up :P
Today my son and i were chit chatting, that is something rare. I do not remember what we were actually talking about but this one particular discussion is still ringing in my ears " If my dad were rich he would/could marry a better woman" the last syllables spoken quieter and slower with fear till i could barely hear the end.
In any other circumstances I would be mad at him or at least offended but Now i see with amazement that this not only does not bother me but also this is something i agree with.
I regard this a victory and a joy; you may wonder why.
Today is the first day of the new day and the spring is blooming all around me in a lovely weather and i feel that i am alive and am glad to be alive; its a new discovery and rare feeling.
The sun shines with a new smile and the birds sing together celebrating the season.
Its good to pause and listen to the beautiful voice of nature; to live in the moment; now!
Why are Fridays like this? .. why do i feel lonely at Fridays even though its the only day of the week that every body is home and am not actually alone. Why do i feel like this? ~~
The other day i decided to make my boys happy so i made them pizza which they love and doesn't take long to prepare since its not my lazy days; and it took them only a few minutes to bite & swallow and finish with... from their remarks and the sparkle in their eyes i get it was a success :)
First thing to begin i made the dough and i left it to rise about 2 hours and left the kitchen.
how strange ...
the way my moods change
how strange
the way i feel
Unable my Will
my heart crazy
my brain lazy
my life i leave with the past
to make me a feather dancing and turning with the wind.
Through one's life
health, security, peace and love
are all essential,
like water for fishes
when the glass breaks we realize.
Of the earth I am made
and across the earth i tread
and upon the earth i learn to live
and in Him I put my trust and faith
and back to earth i'll be taken to lay in
just like many others that you've already seen.
Earthenware is my favorite kind of pottery. The salad blowl is a handmade earthenware made in Hamedan Iran.
Yesterday i prepared tomatoes and lettuce salad for guests and liked to capture the view to post here to last:
hi .. this is the other crazy side of me speakin.
A kind of energy and speed has been mounting up inside me forcing me on to move around and talk and talk and talk from the time i wake.
At home my family are sometimes asking; sometimes begging me to keep quiet. hah, seems hard but can try anyhow.
I am self-absorbed and have fallen in love with me!
Not hating myself anymore now; It's a very nice feeling; wished i could describe the way it is exactly.
Few days ago i bought me a bunch of flowers; spending sometime to choose and pick each one with great care, here they are:
When one's mind is in peace it can be nice and peaceful stepping into a clean kitchen too; it is good to wash the dishes in quiet and disturb the quiet making lots of noises working in the kitchen and moreover i dont dislike cooking now; i even enjoy it, can you believe?
Today i made an apple pie for my guest; its ready now I offer you a piece if u come and knock my door:)
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...
Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give
Easy to read this
Difficult to follow
Easy is to keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings
...........
..................
Birds are not as free as i thought. I don't like to be a bird anymore.
The idea seems no longer overwhelming.
Careless about the past or the mysterious future, just enjoying the present, I was having a nice joyful walk.The air I breathed felt wonderful as I gulped the fresh air in, filling up my lungs, mumbling a soft song as I walked passed the lovely road called life.
All of a sudden I, felt an opening beneath my step and before I could move, stumbled into a dark strange abyss. Terrified I called out for help in vain since nobody could hear.
At last I gave up calling and made an effort to get up trying to examine my surrounding in the dark. There I could feel nothing but a cold rough wall cutting me off from the out side world with the mere darkness engulfing me.
There was no one there to hold, neither a hand nor warm caring opened arms that I could run into. A damn sickening darkness was all around, and who knew what was lurking in the corner.
I then craved the warmth of a humanly touch.
All I cared about was the closeness of another's hot breath as I sat there motionless, lost in desperation waiting for a miracle; waiting for a light to appear above my head.
I still glance up every once a while looking for a reflection to help me find the way out.
As an empty notebook to draw or paint in colorful hues
as the pages are turned over
leaf after leaf; day after day
life is our given gift.
There are two windows sealed and locked
right behind the gray stone wall, blocked
Hidden from the eye
one is you and the other I
One day the stonewall will brake and fall apart
to let us free and step into the light
We will die; you and I
into the eternity we will fly.
Imagine even if it's hard to imagine
A world bright & fresh as a tangerine
A world of happiness; far away from cruelty
Where there's no meaning to hatred and envy
A world with the children of Adam & Eve living in peace and free
no lines separating a country
Where jails and prisons are just a fiction story
A world in bond and without border
A world without war; with no traces of bloodshed
A world full of friendship and full of love
passing windows you notice someone waves at you from above
Candles extinguished by the winds of destiny
Everything lives here a while temporary
The hearts bury under the cobwebs and dust
once overwhelmed by passionate desires and lust
Minds haunted by the past and beauties that never last
Smiles a flicker of light amid the darkness vanishing as fast
Faces wrinkled; strands of hair turning white
Grows lifeless and dim the eyesight
Souls in turmoil; bodies losing shape
the seconds and minutes slipping away as a tape
As I walk on towards the border
with every breath I take the end comes closer and closer..
Delightfuly shining twinkling star
amid the darkness blinking from afar
Our unreachable wishes and dreams
the more unreachable the more desirable it seems
If one day on the bright shining star we land
we would face no more than dark earth and sand
Still the mind goes astray
far from reality turning awry
Gazing at the filth and dirt of the street
the radiation of a thumping dreaming heart in conflict
A contrast, the thud
those with thirst and hunger; the urge for innocent blood
The weird creatures called humans which on blood they feed
with disgusting neverending greed
Giving the devil a helping hand harvesting the seed
in some corners of the filthy dirty street,
men get killed; mothers die and the children left to bleed.
Stuffed with something you don't bring into words lest its sinful
you have lots to say and lots to express but pretend as a fool
you have the mind of a babe
life is short; time rules the crazy days and nights obey
you are scrutinized and judged here and there
could they see inside you they wouldn't be so unfair
you have a heart inside your chest thumping
in your heart rhythm you hear the sound of a step arriving
yet you keep silent when you got a lot to say
above the horizon Sun ascends as always to let the destiny play.
When it is raining and the wind blows
Looking for shelter the birds and the crows
When in your heart you feel a longing
Listen to the wind, you will hear someone singing
You will hear someone call
It's me calling and singing from the other side of the wall
Dancing in my limitless cage
giving my soul freedom from a camouflage
The road blocked
the door closed and locked
Entrapped and little strength left to strive
but it all does not stop me singing for I'm still alive.
