there remains no word to bespoken
there's no use to try to cry out or unburden
trapped inside like a captive like a slave
the body and soul gradually turning into a grave
sometimes voices better go dead
sometimes things are better be left unsaid.
Voices inside have started telling me you can't you can't you can't....
Fear, doubts and anxiety are whispering in my ears,
need to be strong to ignore and shake them off !
Oh... i need a mighty power !
"The 'tongue' is the most unruly member of the body. You can either 'make' or 'break' someone with your tongue. I know that may sound humorous, but it is so true. We may be able to take back a lot of things, but we can never take back words spoken. That is why we must always watch what we say, and only speak the truth."
my dear newly discovered American friend Linda wrote me this precious advice the other day which I need to read and reread, keep in mind and never forget
Early morning was spent sometime on TV; I was witnessing Chili miners being rescued. The overjoyed faces when they met the family member after they reached the surface stepping on the ground was really worth watching to share the true joy and delight. I could feel a lump in my throat when each waiting family member wiped off their wet eyes every now and then.
Fortunately they got their reward; the family reunion and joyful smiles was not the work of any TV company , it was just real.
it's more than a new lesson . it's life and all about it. Patience pays
Could be worse
This too will pass
I learned these two phrases today which I can deeply feel and realize the true meaning
The thought of past, people and all that has happened to me through the 45 years is haunting me like never before .. I don't like to share them with you or anybody else I don wanna share it with me either since its no use to go over the past salting the wounds.
I'd rather close the lid and throw the whole bottle out to the sea and whoever gets it shall do the same letting it immerse and absorb enough water maybe the dried up tears would flow pour out to the sea .. so the bottle feels released sailing back to me again .. maybe.
To be a wolf or a tigress is so easy and to be donkey is not as easy as u imagine .. I would have to carry so much burden though nobody was ever pleased with me but wait what about being a real lady ? I have tried them all with the unique hidden potentials that I've already got from Dunno Where Land. A dear friend suggested be a lady and i replied thats easy too .. I've got that hidden potential also I only have to drag it out, a little bit dusting and cleaning and then watch it shine.
I'm learning to say no to people fighting against my own shyness or any lack of self confidence. This is another new lesson to me a new challenge, another battleship that needs lots of self confidence, energy, iron,Vitamin B and a very calm and polite attitude to face people so ladies stand up follow me; don't let be used like a tool show them all you are a lady not a donkey anymore. It works out they will even respect us, yes it works i tried.
my mind has been crazy inside these past few days.. sleeplessness sneering and mocking.
Again he begs and ask me to take a rest and a cease fire and keep quite so he can dozzzze offff.. the white flags are up; lucky me to be married to a dear lamb; I would swallow him up if I were a wolf ..but am not though one of my so called friends enjoys calling me a wolf mockingly thinking shes very funny ..u know I really need much stronger teeth/tooth to become a real wolf ! (usually forget which form is the plural)
She better called me a tigress :P
how many more days will I be a clown thats something nobody can tell.. God only knows
You already know if you have taken a look into my profile that I am not into politics not only it makes me scared but also because i simply know Nothing about the issue. You ask me about a snake and i know nothing about that weired animal so i get scared just the same.
When I go into a social gathering meaning dinner parties weddings birthday parties etc .. i wish that i had brought my own pillow and could take a nap in a quiet corner unnoticed. wanna know why ? Because females are mostly discussing their make up or hair does or domestic affair or gossiping trivialities & males discussing cars and politics these are all things i dont give a damn about so it seeems I am in the middle of A Middle Age Crisis .. yeah that might B the problem , but surely i didn't brought it up manually; it came up with age ,, I am 45 now am I growing old ?? ! ! ah now ladies you get scared of discussing your ages .. huh but I am not. Age simply doesn't matter to me as long as am happy in peace the wrinkles at the corner of lips just adds to the beauty in my opinion, the growing white hair can b dyed and here my opinion now is the most important not any body's else !.. I simply throw up my shoulder to whoever who mocks.
My middle sized son makes me smile sometimes. He tells me this joke the other day and i took it as a politic joke. read it then decide for yourself :
I have stopped my early morning walks for a few reasons... it was tiring and more than i could take.
Deciding to be a real good mother from the day my son's blow up. He was crying for me and because of me; it was me he was crying about desperately .. it was a heart wrenching sight when u witness your grown up son shedding tears .. Oh .. still feel awful even talking about it like seeing a nightmare.. but the nightmare came to this conclusion .. am gonna be a good mom from now on till death do us apart .. I will make him smile inshala !
When serotonin takes control of the body and mind so it turns into an overload of words and new crazy ideas. Some beneficial, some devastatingly silly and mischievous.
After 24 years of married life I made a new discovery !
"the secrets to a successful happy day"
Of course this is not a self improvement blog but I'm willing to share these with those who are still wondering.
The secret is to rise early before sunrise and prepare lunch in advance and organize the day ahead of time !
so did I, unlike my blue days
Yesterday was Eid and a very nice day :
I woke up just a little before sunrise .. i crept out of the bed stealthily careful not to wake my husband, then prayed as fast as a wink .. deciding to do that in a better and graceful manner tomorrow!
Changing into a cotton T shirt and jeans I flew out of the house taking a walk to enjoy and breath the clean and fresh early morning air. there is peace and quite while everyone is sleep with no vehicle moving about to disturb the peace and quite....
To be continued ....
Finding no time to gossip, have no time to feel ill
No time to loose and waste, no time for silly words and then copy paste
Every second has a ticket .. if u wanna win just pick it
There's no time to pause and feel sad, no time to think bad
I've got no time to break the hearts here and there,
now it's getting much better and better.
I dislike debates, going to details trying to prove my belief since each person is free to choose the way .. either right or wrong it is absolutely Not my business to guide and preach :P
and I dislike advertising for God and my faith since its Not my job.
I do believe:
1- We people and the skies and planet, the universe are created by an able hand not by a mere BOOOM! I believe God created me and the rest including plants and animals and stars and skies and planets and even the devil!( i call him He; though he is not male or female; because i know no other way to call him
2 - He is kind and merciful and does justice, He hears and listens and witnesses Everything
3 - He is closer to you and me than our earlobe
4 - He is beyond quality and quantity .. He just created them all
5 - God or wot ever the name is the One who saves or destroys by hands and devices that are viewable
6- He is the reason i prefer not go wrong and improve in every way .. I simply have no other reason.
( You may ask why earthquakes and floods, demises and natural disasters!
I both know and dont know cause there are lots of things i dont know and I know just a little but am sure whatever happens there must have been a reason for it.)
bye and take care wherever you are,
Othersideblue
It was like Yesterday
happily I started the day
Opened my window
Took a deep breath so and so
right before sunrise and the usual prayer
then thirstily I drank drops of water
mumbling a happy song under the shower
Combed my changing color hair
Watered the plants and pots and the flower
Then I washed the backyard putting everything into order
Dusted an array of table and chair
then the door bell .. Oh! ..I ran up to the door to open and smiled widely
a nice day to chitchat and have a cup of Turkish coffee
yes it is a nice day either because my serotonin level is high or .. ?
Any how I am grateful wondering how and in what language to thank God enough; shall i whisper or say it out loud like mad? shall i say it in Arabic, Persian or English?
I Know God loves me and I can feel it with my whole existence now .. discovered it a few days ago but .. hushhh! am not going to tell you how cause it takes longer than you imagine. You would lose interest. I can see you yawning both patient and impatiently waiting for me to shut my mouth up :P
Today my son and i were chit chatting, that is something rare. I do not remember what we were actually talking about but this one particular discussion is still ringing in my ears " If my dad were rich he would/could marry a better woman" the last syllables spoken quieter and slower with fear till i could barely hear the end.
In any other circumstances I would be mad at him or at least offended but Now i see with amazement that this not only does not bother me but also this is something i agree with.
I regard this a victory and a joy; you may wonder why.
